Compassion

Compassion is the understanding of others, with the cultivated awareness of suffering.    Perhaps  more  accurately,    Compassion is empathy with the awareness of suffering.

The western concept of “empathy“, popular in the writings of twentieth century humanists, philosophers and psychologist has its own active verb tense. “to empathize” or “empathizing“. compassion does not have a verb tense in English… perhaps ” to sympathize“… but I will stick with Compassion, here.

To empathize is to imagine another’s experience,  compare that experience with his/hers and to be affected.   One empathizes with another person(s), organism(s) and their circumstance. It should be noted, that from a stand point of certain schools of thought,as in Zen Buddhism, Humanistic Psychology and existential- phenomenology, an organism is always considered with his circumstances. One is always interacting, affecting and being affected by his environment . This is “experience”, the participation of an organism in its world. “Phenomenology” is big ugly word for the study of experience(s), from subjective lenses.    “Empathizing”, is being affected by and imagining another(s) experience(s).

Another overlapping concept is “perspective-taking“. “Perspective taking” is imagining another’s experience and world-view.   Perspective-taking is objective and rational in method; and deliberate in avoiding any emotional affect and judgments.    To take another’s point-of-view and study while holding back any personal bias and presumption would be perspective taking. (see also Husserl’s bracketing or epoche`)
Is it at all possible to remove all bias?    Some psychologists argue that perspective taking is a primitive form of empathizing .

Alfie Cohen, Author of “Brighter Side of Human Nature“…… poses another  phenomenological approach to empathy that he calls “feeling-into“. To “feel-into” another’s circumstance, personal happenings, gestalt or being-in-this-world. Feeling-into is an full cognitive investigation of another’s subjective experience.

Back to Compassion

I do believe that there are people who can empathize or feel-into another’s situation without compassion.
A study of the psychopathology of some dangerous criminals might support my claim.   For example: there are a few who feel powerful or aroused when they imagine themselves as the victims of their violent attacks. in this case there is empathy and perspective taking, for pathological pleasure, but no compassion.

To act with compassion is to act and empathize, while recognizing and considering suffering. To act with compassion is to act and be affected by the suffering of others.

Understanding suffering is at the core of any study, religion, or way-of-being that is called Buddhism.  Thus compassion is a much talked about subject-matter . Understanding the nature of suffering is fundamental to Buddhist practice.
Note below a translation of the four Noble Truths of Buddhism

Four Nobel Truths of Buddhism .

• Suffering Exists in Life
• The Source of Suffering is attachment
• The Emancipation of Suffering is attainable
• The Path or the “Eightfold Path” (wisdom, conduct, development)

 
In Christianity, (at least from my non-religious outsider’s stand appointment), A great deal of importance is placed on the suffering of Jesus at the end of his days. In interpretations,   God seeks to empathize with man in the Life and times of Jesus. Followers seek to understand God in part by empathizing with the life and Crucifixion of Jesus. The very important Christian theme of Redemption is tied to suffering and compassion just as it is the teachings of Jesus, in the “Sermon on the Mount“.

Compassion is care for others. What can, at times, be overshadowed is the care for ones own well-being.   IMHO: It is important to act in the same compassionate manner for his or herself, as he does for others.   Just as important as anything written here:    The care and wellbeing of one’s self and others includes happiness, pleasure, curiosity and a spectrum of experiences…. not just suffering.

Compassion maybe a cornerstone of ethics along with self- esteem and reciprocity. If we truly love and esteem ourselves (that is, our being) ;    If we treat each other in the manner we wish to be treated, then we may presume that no one likes pain and suffering.   We’d care for ourselves and others, and act accordingly— rich in understanding perspectives beyond our own.
It would be unethical to deliberatively harm another (or one’s own being) that we have compassion and care for.

New Years Day. Death, Living and Changing

It is the new year: The beginning of a new calendar cycle – a graduated period of time that measures Change. I am experiencing a great amount of change recently. The most meaningful event of the previous year was the death of the man who was both my best friend and Father. The most noticeable change upcoming is supporting my mother as she gains (at huge cost) more independence and responsibility.

Death

Death, it seems final. It is, after all, the end of a life.  Life, a graduated period of living. However each life is an integral part of larger impermanent event. Yet, I am not transcendental in my attitude. I’m instead I remain empirical  and existential in attitude. Death, living and changing are existential themes.

• What-exists is integral part of All,
• What-exists has it’s own nature —All while changing . Willfully or with beat of the Cosmos.

What exists as a person, may cease existing as a person – We often say is ” the end of a life” or a Death. What existed as a person may be soon exist as a tree, be the Earth below it,   dew forming on its leaves,   the atmosphere around it.

A figure of an ever-changing work of art… eventually  fades into the ground.   A wave disperses to back to the tumultuous sea.
Figure and ground.   wave and sea.   ones-own-nature and Nature.     being and not-being.   –phenomenologically speaking .

Living

As I postulated: one’s existence is part of All. The willful part of existing, seem to be “ doing”.

Doing something is expressing our own nature. We do not exist for the sake of something else. We exist for the sake of ourselves.

- Shunryu Suzuki

To say that I exist, that “I am!” (while remembering that, at the same time I’m an integral part of All) is to say that I am expressing my nature. I breathe, I feel, I move, I ponder… All the while I participate, I express my- nature  I am part of Nature — therefore I am.
(the two fold connectivity of “my nature”, and “Nature”. –Suzuki’s Oneness of two ; Kierkegaard’s authenticity, Te and Tao … I’ll save some future post/)

Changing

[...] the natural state of man is as a single, whole being not fragmented into two or more opposing parts. In the natural state, there is constant change based on the dynamic transaction between the self and the environment…

–Arnold Beisser, from: The Paradoxical Theory of Change (Gestalt Therapy Now) 1970

One exists by expressing his own nature and harmonizing with Nature  . IMHO, this is participation,  an organism separating, connecting and integrating with his environment –this is living,   When one is  living in the present, while letting go of what is no longer part of he/she —this is change.
I am presently remembering my Dad and his life still affects mine. At the same time I let go of  what-is-not-me today.

change occurs when one becomes what he is, not when he tries to become what he is not…

–Arnold Beisser, from: The Paradoxical Theory of Change (Gestalt Therapy Now) 1970

Its been a tough year, but i have a good life, with reason to optimistic towards the future.  I  am saving a Robert Frost poem,  that I read at my Fathers service, until my next post.  until then—
Happy New Year!

Intersubjectivity and Interpersonal Brighter Side Repost

Repost…
“Intersubjectivity and Inerpersonal Bright Side” was origionally posted: dec 5, 2011.

 
Look upon other people and see that we are all  humans.  We  roughly appear to have the same forms and physics, the same sets of uniquely  human behaviors ( such as use of language). Upon deeper inspection, by biologists  who study DNA, There are traits and characteristics that are universally Homo Sapien or  human.
Meet and talk with other people and discover that people have cognitive differences of each person; Travel and note the cultural  differences of people.
If  you are one who has used medications and therapies for serious health problems, you will quickly learn the unwritten rule : “what works for one may not work for another, everyone is different“. One can infer each Homo Sapien is  biologically different from the next, Same  goes for their sum total of subjective  experiences. The individual  has characteristics that are unique.

I am  pretty sure  that a universal model does not apply when talking about all people, most of  the time. But we also, in talking about the human race per se , or groups… education  ,communication or interactions ..need to talk about more than just the individual. I certainly want to know more than the individual that is me.

Self and Other, Person to Person

As I am  a subject of my  own permeated world that I participate in,  other persons are the subject of their own. As  subjects we have considerable influence upon the world. a subject acts upon other things.  In  the shared circumstance, such as that  of  a  conversation, or any other interpersonal experience, Each must treat the  “other” as a subject of overlapping or joined existence– an intersubjective circumstance.  Intersubjectivity.

“On the hand, a we appreciate, as it were, [another  persons]  otherness, and on the other hand we appreciate the humanness we have in common“

-Brighter Side of Human Nature. Alfie Kohn chapter titled The Self and Other…
Kohn goes on the explain  intersubjectivity in a meeting  (conversation, circumstance, Dasein etc) .  After the two fold contrast of Self and Other arises; and two subjects recognize an intersubjective  meeting, A   twofold attitude with the contrasting  of  sameness and difference arises. This is not a state between sameness and difference, according to Kohn, rather a “dynamic tension of the two”.

“One  who appreciates both dimensions of otherness and common humanness is able to appreciate a given individuals subjectivity [...] a subject is an actor, a knower, a center of experience and while two individuals share  these features each is  also a different subject.“

I would postulate  that one is  often comforted in the  sameness beyond humanness in a intersubjective moment.  A subject maybe comforted in the sameness of culture, age, gender, ethnicity, ideology.  Perhaps, for better or for worse,the  Sameness    we find in other people confirms ones own identity.
We are at the same time excited by the novelty of otherness, sometimes startled…. sometimes curious. If   man is  to reach  beyond his own hands grasp , it could be said one seeks  out  otherness beyond himself. In interpersonal relationships, we very often find another person’s Otherness, including the persons individual experiences and circumstances, compelling or alluring.

Beyond Objectification

Many Neuroscientists believe that they have located “Mirror neurons” in the human brain. These neurons are believed to activate when we observe   other people actions.  In certain developmental stages (the experts argue the exact ages)  one learns by observing others, an interpersonal  action.

The understanding  that: other people  that one contacts (meets and interacts with) in his/her  own experiences,  have  similar  experiences  of their own, more than any stone, tree , structure or object;
and that they impact and influence  as subjects within their own experiences… this is understanding  takes a practical leap of faith.
But this understanding, which requires assumptions supported by a subjects growing experiences, lifts one beyond dull  solipsism and egoism , to the richness of an intersubjective matrix, which is our human world.

Modern Physics may suggest a  “subject:object” or “I:it” outlook as impractical. All things  have influence on all other things in a field, whether the affect is grand or arbitrary.  Any subject acting on a body, whether a stone, tree, another person, earth, sun, is influenced by the other in return. Objects are not static or inert.
For the purpose of interpersonal subject:subject or intersubjective relationship We may  as, Martin Bubers suggest, choose “I:thou” interpretation over “I:it” .

The Brighter Side

The rich understanding of other people in their  Dasein beyond ones own existence is one thing and Learning from others another. We also have to live with each other in space and our societies.  If I am ” to treat others  in the manner I wish to be treated“, Wouldn’t I have to know what is it like to be in another circumstance?

I am Reading Alfie Kohn’s  ” The Brighter side of Human Nature“. Which postulates an individual’s existence is ideally positioned somewhere between the poles of  Egoism and Altruism, and the motivations of an individual lies somewhere between self-interest and pro-social selflessness.
He writes about the importance of  “Perspective  taking” including Empathy (or feeling into)
three types of perspective taking:

• Spatial and perceptive:  imagining what its like to be in someone else’s physical circumstance.
• Cognitive:  imaging how another people (and organisms) think,feel and act from their perspective including strengths, limitations
• Empathetic: Being affected by another’s circumstance.

Perspective taking is understanding another’s perspective, while Empathy is “feeling into”, or being affected by another persons perspective or circumstance. In quoting by Robert Salmon Perspective taking and Empathy…”Are  form[s] of social cognition intermediate between logical or moral thought “

Cohn synthesizes the work of scientist(including doctors , biologists) , psychologist, educators, and  philosophers and the book is   heavily annotated.  Cohen further illustrates the importance of  understanding intersubectivity in interpersonal relationships, to promote the pro- social(or altruistic) and motivations and actions of individuals. He makes a strong case for an the Altruistic interests of the individual beyond self interest. I would recommend the book for all, but especially humanists, individualists and existentialists.

To be a subject in Existence is  moral participation. To act upon and with others requires Dignity, Reciprocity, and Tolerance, (Ethics) in addition to subjects self -interests and mutual interests with others.

Slowing down that chattering mind subvocalizing

Typically much of ones thinking process is thinking in spoken language. I have unscientifically dubbed this process subvocalizing, some people label  the process “inner dialogue“, “inner monologue“, or “thinking-to- myself“.
One  utilizes subvocalization for   problem solving, reading and writing, deciding, daydreaming, or just reflecting on an event.

Although  Zennists , such as I,work to minimize subvocalizing, it appears that subvocalization remains an important daily process.

what happens if subvocalization becomes to intense or “loud”?   What is one to do if  thoughts seem like they  are racing and speeding out of control?   The chattering is no longer a helpful tool … but an intrusive hindrance. – shifting one’s attention from the present moment or task-at- hand to wordy thoughts.

A couple tips I have learned over the years to slow down a chattering mind:

“Purge to paper” Journaling :

When having a pen and scrap-paper and a little privacy, “purge-to -paper” is helpful:
I simply write what ever I am thinking, at the present moment, on to paper – sans concerns for spelling, grammar or penmanship. If I think “I don’t know what to write” then I scribble on paper:  “I don’t know what to write“.
Preferably, after doing this exercise  for a couple minutes:  I end with emotional grammar and a couple affirmations,  just get back to an organized confident attitude.
Then I rip the paper up and throw it way… nothing to be sentimental about in this exercise.
I don’t know why journaling helps, but it usually clears my mind.
For  more   journaling tips click here.

breathing and counting:

This is a helpful tool because it requires nothing, not even privacy.

1. start with a good sized inhale.
2. Exhale and count out “ 5..4..3..2..1..0″
Count whispering while exhaling
3. Inhale through the nose
4. Exhale “5..4..3..2..1..0″ Just as number 2.
5. continue to step 3 and 4 :
I slow down my counting with each exhale

5…4…3….2….1…0
5…..4…..3……2…..1……0 slower and slower each exhale.

6. I do this for about 3 to 5 minutes or so
7. (optional) inhale, then exhale and repeating the thought: “I’m Safe” . – helpful if anxious.

- taken from the full post: Breathing and Counting Exercise.
Note: The speed I count, or the number I start with (eg, 5 or 4 or 6) is not important.

For more breathing exercise check out this page.

I’m not a doctor or a healthcare provider. These are tools I have learned in wellness management over the years. Excessive or speedy subvocalization termed “racing thoughts“, “intrusive thoughts“, “obsessive thoughts“, or “attention span” problems can be very serious. Do consult a professional if these are overwhelming. Healthcare providers can provide or prescribe many wellness tools or therapies.

Elyn Saks shares about schizophrenia on TED

Elyn Saks is a professor of law, psychology, psychiatry, and Behavior Science. She was a student at Yale university, an Author, and is regarded as an expert in Mental Health Law. She is also Diagnosed with chronic Schizophrenia, A very serious mental health disorder.
This is a lecture on TED: her experiences and, journal entries while dealing with schizophrenia.

Video:

Some Soren Kierkegaard Quotes and Thoughts

“How absurd men are! They never use the liberties they have, they demand those they do not have. They have freedom of thought, they demand freedom of speech.”

I have been reading some Soren Kierkegaard quotes, lately.
He is one of my favorite thinkers, whos profound words would influence many in the following century. Academics Jaspers, Husserl, Heidegger, humanist psychologist Carol Rogers, and physicist Neil Bohr claimed Kierkegaard’s words as inspiring to them.
Here are some more quotes by the Great Dane:

“once you label me you negate me.”
when one is being labeled he is objectified and dehumanized.

“What is a poet? An unhappy person who conceals profound anguish in his heart but whose lips are so formed that as sighs and cries pass over them they sound like beautiful music.“
As Laura Perls would later say: “without pain there would be no Art“.

“Anxiety may be compared with dizziness. He whose eye happens to look down into the yawning abyss becomes dizzy. But what is the reason for this? It is just as much in his own eye as in the abyss, for suppose he had not looked down. Hence, anxiety is the dizziness of freedom, which emerges when the spirit wants to posit the synthesis and freedom looks down into its own possibility, laying hold of finiteness to support itself. Freedom succumbs to dizziness. Further than this, psychology cannot and will not go“
The decisions one makes between: what he ought to do: his essence; his nature. and what he thinks he should do in preservation (dread) shape existence in Kierkegaard’s view. life is a series choices, the freedom in deciding comes with anxiety.
For Soren, ones essence or nature is his/her connecting to God. I wonder what he would have thought of Taoism or Zen, had he discovered it, for essence and nature are harmonizing with Tao and Buddha nature, respectively…. For the pantheist connecting with the Cosmos.

“Life has its own hidden forces which you can only discover by living.“
Life is not just something to be analyzed from afar. the mysteries, hows and whats of life are understood by living or experiencing.

“Do not forget to love yourself“
Sounds so pretty simple. but read further:

“In every man there is something which to a certain degree prevents him from becoming perfectly transparent to himself; and this may be the case in so high a degree, he may be so inexplicably woven into relationships of life which extend far beyond himself, that he almost cannot reveal himself. But he who cannot reveal himself cannot love, and he who cannot love is the most unhappy man of all“.
the path of happiness is authenticity. be true and find ones true nature, within and without and by living it. With that comes compassion,empathy, wisdom and love.

For more kick-arse Kierkegaard quotes  please check out this terrific blog link:
The Kierkegaarden.
from there you can receive daily Kierkegaard “Blooms” on twitter, Facebook, or RSS news Feed.

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