learning to relax
August 8, 2008 4 Comments
if there is anything i have learned better: its how to relax and become patient with my emotions.
I was diagnosed with Bipolar disorder 7 years ago. The anniversary of my first (of two) hospitalizations is coming up soon.*..
Long ago, if i was anxious or irritated my mind or body would race. I would become more and more stressed. getting irrational, then feeling guity about it.
Today its a matter of catching myself. realizing that i am feeling stressed, irritated, or that i am racing. I’ve learned to trust that i can slow things down, with breathing. … being patient with my emotions and not fighting them….
I while back I was suffering from panic attacks. I tried my best to prevent them.
It was the preventing them… that was making them worse.
What i was really doing was becoming afraid of panic attacks.
In fact i did this with a lot of my emotions…
Anger, Sadness, Mournfulness, Apprehension…
I pushed them down. I guess I perceived them as “negative emotions”
I was fearful of my own emotions. and if they slipped out i felt guilty.
how irrational i was in fighting my own body, my own emotive expressions.
its not still not easy to cry or to allow myself to be annoyed sometimes….
but it has gotten better, I do not fight it as much.
* (this is an old post from around April that i must have never published–This is published now with my Companion Blog: blogs.healthcare.com/zenpen/ .