How Are You Feeling?
November 15, 2009 1 Comment
(left)A greeting sent to me by a good friend sometime ago.
I have often ask “How are you feeling” to the people I care about….
forgetting that it is a question that sometimes makes people feel surprised or taken a back.
Why is it so difficult to say how we feel, simply?
Are we conditioned to hide are feelings from one and other, to “Keep Are Guard up”? is it really a “weakness” to say how one feels?
Or is it a weakness in our childhood and adolescence education that we are never taught to express our feelings in simple words.
in all my schooling, including Geometry to Calculus, History to Civics, literature and Grammar… all to make me better…
I never had a class in Emotional Literacy or Emotional Grammar.
With the amount of school kids who lash out or develop emotional problems at school age…. wouldn’t make sense to have short course on being able to express feelings in words?
I feel excited, brotherly, and confident because I am posting Feeling Words
I AM FEELING ________
First Simple Feeling words:
|pleasureful||sore ( pain)||healthy||ill|
When I say “I” I mean the whole of me.
Feelings Happen in our Mind /Body / outside -world -Interaction
when I say “feel” it is the sensations in my feet to my chest to my face; my awareness; my thinking my perception.
My Feelings are mine to feel.
Some feelings are more bodily and simple.
“I feel exhausted… I feel panicky…I feel hungry…I feel ticklish..”
Some are more complex and connected to thinking…
e.g. “I feel cheated…I feel stigmatized…I feel old fashioned”.
Some feelings more about our outside needs…
e.g. “I feel lonely…, I feel sociable… I feel irresistibly curious”
Feelings often over-layer to others in a moment, and expressing emotional literacy can reveal the depth, especially in choice making.
example I feel:
“conflicted“, “torn“, ” choice- less”, “ambivalent“,” pulled apart”
one part of me feels_________ ( because, I think…
and another part of me feels_________ (because I think…..
Categorizing emotion for Personal Therapies
I think being able to express emotional literacy in writing or speech, is very helpful in becoming aware of feelings in gradients, before they become explosive. Emotional grammar can help with Anger management or emotional management.
Although each feeling is unique, it would be advantageous to become aware of the feeling of “annoyed” or “stressed” before becoming aware of “explosive” or “overwhelmed” , in the case of anger management or emotional management.
In my opinion, feelings or emotions are not to be rigidly categorized. but we may detect relationships such as “feeling annoyed ” to “feeling furious“.
But all this Emotional grammar is about our awareness.
I have often seen web pages that, try to categorize emotions in some sort of “should be” model… all the “Happy” Emotions belong together… “Negative” Emotions, “Anxiety” Emotions
categorizing feeling words is to fit a particular need.
If I were a suicide hot line worker, for example… I might be listening for pre categorized “negative” feeling words or feelings loosely attributed to Depression from a caller because, it fits the situation.
Often enough though, One can feel:
irritable and aroused; sociable and anxious; happy and guilty
at the same time. loosely categorizing feelings, In my opinion, is for the purpose of suiting ones personal therapeutic needs.
A long list of feeling words can be found at:
I am an interaction.
my body/ my inner world of thought and memories/my outside world.
- How I interpret “Facts” (what I believe, know, perceive) affects how I Feel.
- How I Feel affects how I interpret “Facts”.
“I feel overloaded because, I think I have alot of work that I must complete today.”
“I Feel Worthless because, I think I didn’t complete as much work as I should have.”
from a cognitive- rational point of view: one may point out that,
feeling “overloaded” or worthless” is irrational if one cannot do work that is beyond ones limits…rationally one can only do so much work.
the feeling is valid, but thinking “should have been able to more work than my limits” is irrational and is therefore a thought error.
However, I believe that writing or verbalizing emotional literacy statements such as
“I Feel_______because, I think_______”
“I Feel_______ because, I believe_________”
are important because,
I can become more aware of how I am: intaking, interpreting ; assessing formulating what is “fact” or believe….
affect and are affected by how I Feel.
The Present moment.
Feelings happen in the present moment, although our experience allow us to predict possible future feelings.
“Monday morning I am going to feel stressed.”
for the purposes of ones self therapy (journaling, speaking,etc.)using emotional literacy, it would be more accurate to say:
“I believe that I will be feeling stressed on Monday morning”
or , more directly and present centered:
” I am feeling apprehensive and dreadful (now) because, I believe Monday morning.…”.
the point is being aware of the present centered or (Here and Now) feeling.
If I am to understand assess describe my reality, I must understand and describe how I feel about my reality and how I feel in my reality.
How Are You Feeling?