How Are You Feeling?

How Are you Feeling? (left)A  greeting sent to me by a good friend sometime ago.
I have often ask  “How are you feeling”  to the people I care about….
forgetting that it is a question that sometimes makes people feel surprised or taken a back.

Why is it so difficult to say how we  feel, simply?

Are we conditioned to hide are feelings from one and other, to “Keep Are Guard up”? is it really a “weakness” to say how one feels?
Or is it a weakness in our childhood and adolescence education that we are never taught to express our feelings in simple words.

in all my schooling,  including Geometry to Calculus, History to Civics, literature and Grammar… all to make me better…
I never had a class in Emotional Literacy or Emotional Grammar.

With the amount of school kids who lash out or develop emotional problems at school age…. wouldn’t make sense to have short course on being able to express feelings in words?

I feel excited, brotherly, and confident  because I am posting   Feeling Words

I AM FEELING ________

First  Simple Feeling words:
.

afraid curious happy mad
sad conflicted disconnected tuned in
pleasureful sore ( pain) healthy ill
alert tired confident unsure
empty peaceful aroused overwhelmed

.

When I say “I”  I mean the  whole of me.
Feelings Happen in our  Mind /Body / outside -world -Interaction
when I say “feel” it is the sensations   in my feet to my chest to my face; my awareness; my thinking my perception.
My Feelings are mine to feel.

Some feelings are more bodily and simple.
I feel  exhausted… I feel panicky…I feel hungry…I feel ticklish..

Some are more complex and connected to thinking…
e.g. “I feel cheated…I feel stigmatized…I feel old fashioned”.

Some feelings more about our outside needs…
e.g. “I feel lonely…, I feel sociable… I feel irresistibly curious

Conflicting Feelings

Feelings often over-layer to others in a moment, and expressing emotional literacy  can reveal the depth, especially in  choice making.
example I feel:
conflicted“, “torn“, ” choice- less”, “ambivalent“,” pulled apart”
because…
one part of me feels_________ ( because, I think…
and another  part of me feels_________ (because I think…..

Categorizing emotion for Personal Therapies

I think being able to express emotional literacy in writing or speech, is very helpful in becoming aware of feelings in gradients, before they become explosive. Emotional grammar can help with Anger management or emotional management.

1 bothered 1 busy
2 annoyed 2 stressed
3 angry 3 pressured
4 furious 4 overloaded
5 explosive 5 overwhelmed

Although each feeling is unique, it would be advantageous to become aware of the feeling of “annoyed”  or “stressed” before becoming aware of  “explosive” or “overwhelmed” , in the case of anger management or emotional management.

In my opinion, feelings or emotions are not to be rigidly categorized. but we may detect relationships such as  “feeling annoyed ” to “feeling furious“.
But all this Emotional grammar is about  our awareness.
I have often seen web pages that, try to categorize emotions in some sort of “should be” model… all the “Happy” Emotions belong together… “Negative” Emotions, “Anxiety” Emotions
categorizing feeling words is to fit a particular need.
If I were a suicide hot line worker, for example… I might be listening for pre categorized “negative” feeling words or feelings loosely attributed to Depression  from a caller because, it fits the situation.

Often enough though,  One can feel:
irritable and aroused;  sociable and anxious; happy and guilty
at the same time. loosely categorizing feelings, In my opinion, is for the purpose of suiting ones personal therapeutic needs.

A long list of feeling words can be found at:
http://eqi.org/fw.htm

Reasoning.

I am an  interaction.
my body/ my inner world of thought and memories/my outside world.

  • How I interpret “Facts” (what I believe, know, perceive)  affects how I Feel.
  • How I Feel affects how I interpret “Facts”.

example statement…
“I feel overloaded because, I think I have alot of work that I must complete today.”
I Feel Worthless because, I think I didn’t complete as much work as I should have.”

from a cognitive- rational point of  view:  one  may point out that,
feeling “overloaded” or worthless” is irrational if one cannot do work that is beyond ones limits…rationally one can only do so much work.
more appropriately,
the feeling is valid, but thinking “should have been able to more work than my limits” is irrational and is therefore a thought error.

However, I believe that  writing or verbalizing emotional literacy statements such as
“I Feel_______because,    I think_______”
“I Feel_______ because,    I believe_________”

are important because,
I can become more aware of how I am:  intaking, interpreting ; assessing  formulating what is “fact” or believe….
affect and are affected by how I Feel.

The Present moment.

Feelings happen in the present moment, although our experience allow us to predict possible future feelings.

example:
Monday morning I am going to feel stressed.”
for the purposes of ones self therapy (journaling, speaking,etc.)using emotional literacy, it would be more accurate to say:
“I believe that I will be feeling stressed on Monday morning
or , more directly and present centered:
I am feeling apprehensive and dreadful (now) because, I believe Monday morning.…”.
the point is being aware of the present centered or (Here and Now) feeling.

If I am to understand assess describe my reality, I must understand and describe how I feel about my reality and how I feel in my reality.

So,
How Are You Feeling?

Advertisements

About chris
I write because I'm not good at it. I share because, writing without sharing seems empty. Thus, I write and share what I think is meaningful.

One Response to How Are You Feeling?

  1. chris says:

    Reblogged this on Pennsylvania Echoes and commented:

    Emotional literacy — Articulation sensation in language ―

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: