Surviving a Zombie Apocalypse

Well its May 21st, and it seems that another end-of-the-world scenario has come and gone. Quite frankly I’m glad to see all my friends are ok.  So  maybe we got off lucky this time.  But what about next time. What if the next potential Apocalypse is a Zombie  Apocalypse.

A” Zombie Apocalypse” is when Zombies (or the walking dead) rise in masses numbers, too numerous for law enforcement to contain, and prey upon Humanity.

The cover to The Zombie Survival Guide
In 2003 the “Zombie Survival Guide” was released,  written by Max Brooks theorized that  Zombies are actually created by contact with other Zombies, passed by virus normally by bite. The good news is that the virus, is not spread through any other medium other than through contact with other Zombies. The bad news is “once bitten” there is no cure.
Her is how it works.:

  • After a couple hours of being bitten by a zombie a person will feel feverish;
  • in  15 hours they may fall into coma,
  • then death in less than  a day,
  • finally followed by… Reanimation.

Zombies are created fast  in  their numbers, growing  possibly exponentially, and   overwhelmingly, eventually  to a Zombie apocalypse.
(below: scene from Night of the Living Dead)

File:Zombies NightoftheLivingDead.jpg
The rest of the manual, the Zombie Survival Guide is dedicated to tips on preparedness and defense if ever a Zombie apocalypse happened, as well as dispels a few myths for example:
Contrary to what we see in Hollywood glamorized  movies, a chainsaw does not make a very good weapon against zombies. Although welding a chainsaw might give one a short term psychological advantage, the rush  of esteem  and  machismo in wielding a roaring jagged -toothed power sword, but unfortunately a chainsaw  just not that practical in defense or attack
A flamethrower, on the other hand,  is an excellent weapon especially against numbers of zombies, but one must always keep fuel limits in mind.
One must also always consider the possibility hand to hand melee so constant training is recommended.
Other tips including abstaining  from trolling your pontoon, canoe or small house -boat in waters less than 12 feet,  to keep the vessel out of the grasp of hungry submerged  Zombies from below.

The CDC, or Center for Disease Control recommends  having A Zombie Apocalypse survival  kit:  including water, medication, Supplies, Hygiene (you want to smell your best during a zombie doomsday)  and First aid.
They also recommend having a  written plan for Zombie Outbreak in your town. Conveniently , the Zombie outbreak plan would resemble a plan for Tornado or Hurricane Emergency in your Town.   their link here:
http://emergency.cdc.gov/socialmedia/zombies_blog.asp

I hope this information helps keep you mindful of the possibility and preparation needed for a potential  Zombie Apocalypse.
I hope by now you are aware  that this is post is a satire, but the  Center  for Disease Control website is not…
please check it out at: http://www.cdc.gov/ for some important real world  emergency plans.
CDC page on an Zombie Apocalypse appears to be a light hearted satire, so are the contents of the hilarious but well thought out  Manual   the Zombie Survival Guide{ googlebooks}. please check it out.

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About chris
I write because I'm not good at it. I share because, writing without sharing seems empty. Thus, I write and share what I think is meaningful.

9 Responses to Surviving a Zombie Apocalypse

  1. Joss says:

    There have been times when i felt I lived about the living dead. heh heh.

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