Responses for Better Listening Skills
January 10, 2012 5 Comments
Would you like to improve your listening and conversation skills?
Try working in a response or two starting with the following:
- What I hear you saying is…
- Sounds like….
- You’re feeling….
- You think…
- From your perspective…..
- What I’m hearing is that your saying...
- It sounds like you value…
- Could this be….
- By that you mean…
- It sounds like on one hand you feel_____ because you think______ and
on the other hand you feel_______ because you think________.
Good listening is like data collecting. One lets go of bias and preconceptions, and refrain from making judgements and opinions. Responding, is clarifying and confirming he/she is listening to what someone is saying to him.
To probe further into another is saying, try one of the following:
- what you mean by…
- what that means to you.
- what have you thought of doing…
- What have you tried before?
- How do you usually make this kind of decision?
- What would you like to see happen?
- What do you think the consequences would be?
- what scares you about…
Some years ago I took a class in “Active and Reflective Listening” for volunteer work I was doing at the time. I use those skills, including the statements above all the time, today — they are part of my way of conversing. I am a much better listener today.
If use some of these in your conversations and you can if you can be a better listener.